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My last girlfriend didn`t like me thought she might be Most likely a dyke she just didn`t excite me Lefty? Yeah but that was alright She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn`t that bright My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company Ass like a donkey acting funky gave her "L" now she`s a flunky So my love for her died quicker than a batch of Sea Monkeys Early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word So what if I`m not the smartest peanut in the turd I`m white which goes with everything but I can come in any color And I`m looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother But it`s hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies? Like em` easy and hot and sweet like a Rice Krispie Treat, gee You know what I really want in a girl? Me I need to find a new vagina Any kind of new vagina It`s hard to rhyme a word like vagina Calvin Klein? Kind of North Carolina Women are like dog, doo, hear me through don`t interrupt It`s just the older that they are the easier they get to pick-up I`d fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture No age just ain`t a gauge I like my girls like my cheese Preferably for me fat-free American singles only I want my next chick anorexic, the winner is the thinner Won`t have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner Like Sizzler she got a beef we`ll chew the fat If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I don`t play rough No I can`t be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up Just independent like NOFX ,smart like Janeane Garafolo She`d use big words to make fun of me so that I would never know Bestow upon me all her wisdom of the Dewey Decimal System, gee You know what I really want in a girl? Me I need to find a new vagina Any kind of new vagina It`s hard to rhyme a word like vagina Kevin Klein? Kind of South Carolina Vagina vagina vagina vagina Vagina vagina vagina vagina
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