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Listen folks and I will tell a funny story You may think it sad but I was in my glory `Twas a cellar I crept in, cobwebs brushing by my chin On the night I stole old Sammy Morgan`s gin As my hand fell on the jug I had to snicker But when I started for the door I went much quicker For just up above my head someone jumped right out of bed On the night I stole old Sammy Morgan`s gin As I left that cellar believe me, I was liftin` And the hops from one arm to the other shiftin` Then I stopped and hauled the plug, sat there till I drained the jug Had my mind all set, no spare drops I was missin` Then on my feet I thought I was, but wasn`t And for roads, I guess I saw about a dozen When I reached the old porch door I went smack-o on the floor On the night I stole old Sammy Morgan`s gin I just made one step and landed in the coal box Then from off the mantle came a Big Ben `larm clock But I finally got upstairs after passing seven bears `Twas the night I stole old Sammy Morgan`s gin By my bedroom door an owl stood taking tickets Then the monkey stood before me baking biscuits But the funniest sight of all was two roosters playing ball On the night I stole old Sammy Morgan`s gin I saw mice as big as horses washing dishes As an ape came in the door dressed up in britches Then the floor fell on my head as I tried to get in bed `Twas the night I stole old Sammy Morgan`s gin Well, I woke next morning guess `twas closer ev`nin` And my room was certainly in an awful shape Someone else had took my head and left an elephant`s there instead On the morning after drinking Sammy`s gin
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