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[Ludacris]
Hi, my name`s Ludacris, and I`m high as giraffe pussy And I`m close to the edge, so yo` parents can come PUSH ME I curse so much just to get on they nerves I got kids "Actin a Fool" from the traps to the burbs My filthy mouth, it won`t fight cavities or beat plaque So I shot the tooth fairy and put my old teeth back I take a shit on the equator, the size of a crater And make government officials breathe harder than Darth Vader It`s the chicken and the beer that makes Luda keep rappin But no pork on my fork, I don`t even SPEAK pig latin I go fishin on my lake, with yo` bitch as the bait Plus I eat many MC`s, but I don`t gain no weight The numba ONE chief rocka, clean out yo` rap lockers I`m as stiff as a board, y`all more SHOOK than maracas But my +Trix+ ain`t for kids, if you +Dig`um+ you`ll get +Smacked+ I`ll clock ya - I`ll spring forward, you fall back Every album that I drop has got more than ten bangers That`s cause I`m a shot caller, y`all fools is +Crank Yankers+ {*phone rings*} Ain`t a damn thing changed but the ice on my chain To get chicks from Portland, Oregon to Portland, Maine Now I roll up torpedoes, get blunted with rastas For a hefty fee, I`m +On Your Record+ like Bob Costas I own so many jerseys I`m a throwback mess I hit the cleaners and tell `em I want a full court press (OW!) So momma toast your glass while I`m countin my cash Cause every single is a smash, I`m hot as a camel`s ass The competition never just wanna admit that they lost And that they last about as long as my part in +The Wash+ From yo` car to a crap game, no one rolls wit`chu One of Mini-Me`s shoes got more sole than you So by the time you figure out why your record ain`t spinnin I`m in the strip club smokin, with President Clinton So stand clear of the long sideburns and goatee They may the mold of the penis enlarger off me I`ll be in another room when I hit from the back Not to mention my refridgerator`s taller than Shaq (YUH) So yippie-kay-yay, yippie-yie-yie-yo If you can`t swim, don`t smoke my hydro I`ve been lookin for a woman just to put my stamp on But a lot of y`all are mo` stuck up than tampons So wash all ya sins away and stop playin If God`s line is busy you might have to two-way him Then catch me in your backyard, playin croquet And when I`m drunk tell them kids, "Drugs are bad, mmm`kay?" Or watch me swing my chain at the Roscoe`s off Pico Got seven cars, get all my rims at Chrome Depot And people think I`m bad, they say "Oooh he`s so evil!" Cause I go on blind dates, with actual blind people (OW!) But my album`s out the store, yours be on the shelf I heard you masturbate a lot, so y`all keep to yourself Cause these women want a man that stay up and stay strong Like the NBA, you gotta play hard or go home All that shit that y`all talkin, y`all can pop it to them Cause Ludacris`ll beat you down with a prosthetic limb I put my FOOT so deep in yo` ass that you can smell it And yo` breath will turn to Foot Locker water repellant I`m the man, I got money far as the eyes can see And I`m in a group, I split dough with me, me and me So much money in my jewelry that I`m damn near sorry So I`ma trade my earrings in, and get a Ferrari (WOO!) I buy cars with straight cash, have meetings with Donald Trump Y`all meet with HONDA, no payments for 12 months Take a look at yo` life, and NO WONDER you so sad Y`all put up with more shit than a colostomy bag, fool! {*laughter*}
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