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I used to want to take a Drill to my head Let the pain out of the hole I used to want to cut the Veins in my neck Cool the blood boiling my Soul When I wondered, why my Daily headaches thundered Tried to buffer, pushing Down the pain I suffered Mutilated, feeling so Humiliated Cannot wash the dirt off Underneath my skin There was a part of me left Far behind When at the age of five Years old I had my innocence taken From me Emptiness would fill the Hole Now a second grader, Thinking why I dont feel Better Why Im filthy, why the hell I feel so guilty When drawing stick men Of pornographic men and Women Thinking all the time Theres something wrong With me Everyday for three years From dawn til dusk a Migraine Would take me and break me And itd cripple me so Much that In dreams, itd seem, with A hole in my temple That I could probably make My headaches finally go Away Trephination Trephination The enemy inside of me Wont let me free Wants me to bleed And after three years now My headaches wear off For reasons not quite to Me known The acupuncture needles Sticking my skin Pushed them down as far As theyd go But now Im older and now Inside my anger smolders From depression, to fighting Taking out my vengeance Consequences, now id Question during sex if ... Is this how it fucking feels Or am I faking it ? No longer the child that You left there at the bart Tracks Im now at 17, left in an Empty blackness On drugs, with thugs, and Thinking "goddamn ? " Im ending up in a failure, In the gutter passed out Trephination Trephination This enemy inside of me Wont let me free Wants me to bleed Now Im older and in this Man an anger smolders Now Im thinking a hole in You is what Im seeing Your depression, is the Dent I kick in you in Vengeance Consequences are the pain Id give to you I know that Im dreaming, But in this dream I go in Go through it, and end it And though Id never do it Im killing you, hand on The trigger - pull it Your final thoughtll be a Bullet in your fuckin head Trephination Trephination This enemy inside of me Im now killing To make me free.
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