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My last girlfriend didn t like me thought she might be
Most likely a dyke she just didn t excite me Lefty? Yeah but that was alright She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn t that bright My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company Ass like a donkey acting funky gave her L now she s a flunky So my love for her died quicker than a batch of sea monkeys Early bird gets the worm spreads your legs or spread the word So what if iam not the smartest peanut in the turt I am white wich goes with everything but I can come in any color And I am looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother But it s hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy And how many girls do you know that can play harmonica with their pussies? Like em easy and hot and sweet like a rice krispie treat gee You know what I really want in a girl? Me I need to find a new vagina Any kinda new vagina It s hard to rhyme a word like vagina Kevin Klein? Kind of North Carolina Women are like dog doo hear me through don t interrupt It s just the older that they are the easier to get to pick up I d fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture No age just ain t gague I like my girls like my cheese Preferably for me fat-free American singles only I want my next chick anorexic the winner is the thinner Won t have take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner Like sizzler she got a beef we ll chew the fat If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I don t play rough No I can t be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up Just independent like NOFX smart like Janeane Garafolo She d use big words to make fun of me so that I would never know Bestow upon me all her widsom of the Dewey Decimal System gee You know what I really want in a girl? ME Vagina vagina vagina vagina Vagina vagina vagina vagina
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