Christine Lavin "Until Now" "Yes, I know I drink too much," he said, "but it`s under control. I`ve never picked a fight with a stranger; I`ve had no accidents on the road. It doesn`t interfere with my work; it eases the strain. I make more money than I ever did; no one has ever complained. Until now and I wonder just what your motivation is Until now I never thought of you as one who`d meddle in my business." He is not my boyfriend; he`s not related to me. I have known him for a long, long time; I`m worried by what I see. There`s a nervous edginess that only drinking smooths. When I question him about this, he says, "What are you trying to prove? Until now, I have thought of you as the non-judgemental type. Now I see you`ve been reading too many magazines, believing all that self-help hype." He`s the life of the party; he`s everybody`s pal. He used to act like he liked me until now. Now we`re waiting for the axe to fall, the phone call that shatters the night. Or maybe he will surprise us all, wake up one day and see the light. So I`m standing in the shadows with open eyes and closed mouth, Knowing every day that passes, he`s farther away from drying out. Until now I was able to look the other way. Until now I could pretend that what I thought didn`t matter anyway.
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