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As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she`s very plain But that`s just perfect for an Amish like me You know I shun fancy things like electricity At 4:30 in the morning I`m milkin` cows Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool And I`ve been milkin` and plowin` so long that Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone I`m a man of the land, I`m into discipline Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine Then tonight we`re gonna party like it`s 1699 We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise I`ve churned butter once or twice Living in an Amish paradise It`s hard work and sacrifice Living in an Amish paradise We sell quilts at a discount price Living in an Amish paradise A local boy kicked me in the butt last week I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek I really don`t care, in fact I wish him well `Cause I`ll be laughing my head off when he`s burning in Hell But I ain`t never punched a tourist even if he deserved it An Amish with a `tude? You know that`s unheard of I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat And my homies agree I really look good in black... fool If you come to visit, you`ll be bored to tears We haven`t even paid the phone bill in 300 years But we ain`t really quaint, so please don`t point and stare We`re just technologically impaired There`s no phone, no lights, no motorcar Not a single luxury Like Robinson Caruso It`s as primitive as can be We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish Paradise We`re just plain and simple guys Living in an Amish Paradise There`s no time for sin and vice Living in an Amish Paradise We don`t fight, we all play nice Living in an Amish Paradise Hitchin` up the buggy, churnin` lots of butter Raised a barn on Monday, soon I`ll raise anutter Think you`re really righteous? Think you`re pure in heart? Well, I know I`m a million time as humble as thou art I`m the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like On my knees day and night scorin` points for the afterlife So don`t be vain and don`t be whiny Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish Paradise We`re all crazy Mennonites Living in an Amish Paradise There`s no cops or traffic lights Living in an Amish Paradise But you`d probably think it bites Living in an Amish Paradise Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch!
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